Proudly parading her new hair bands neatly tied just moments ago . Now admiring herself in the mirror as she tilted her head from side to side. It was so child-like but yet had glimpses of maturity. She is becoming a lady.
As I watched, I inadvertently fast forwarded to a time when she will stare in the mirror , all grown up , ready to take that walk down the aisle. I will then reminisce the times when she would so innocently flaunt herself in the mirror. A time when she was mine and would spend bedtime stories on my shoulder.
That time is now! Enjoying the present moment feels like time travel. They change so quickly that today’s behaviour can evolve as quickly as it appeared.
Time will not stop and they will not stop growing. Fast forwarding does allow me to appreciate these moments. Moments that will pass quickly into memory!
Nursing my ill daughter gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate my priorities. This is the second time in two weeks that she is unwell.
The moments where she smiled and played became precious commodities during these times. You almost wish that you could be there for future moments of anguish. It’s still possible now but certainly not forever.
You then realise that your life is to be devoted to the children for the next 2 decades at least. You re align your priorities accordingly. The focus were so different just a few years back.
You also start to realise that you need to re invent yourself. The conventional path is just not going to work. You draw inspiration from those that dared to dream! To make a difference where it matters, not just for the sake of it.
The journey has begun. You just have to come to grips with the twists that it holds and don’t lose focus of the destination. The destination does not have you in it though. That’s the sacrifice.
It is true that your mind is clearest in the wee hours of the morning. The surroundings are still and the silence is golden.
A glance at an old photograph brought me back in time, only to realise how time did fly. There is no pause button. Life has to go on.
Children develop so rapidly that changes can be felt. Their innocence slowly dissipating as they emerge into their own. What used to be yours, now seems to have a life of its own.
I have to accept that soon there will come a time, that they will leave the nest. The only memories of their childhood remain in the mountain of digital pictures and videos that captured those precious moments, forever frozen in time.
With the confinement help gone, it has finally hit me that life will never be the same again. Caring for 2 souls now becomes our life commitment. Every decision that we make evolves around the family.
Our sleeping schedule right up to travel plans will have to take our two children into account. It is hoped that the stresses of caring for them will not fracture our mentality, strength and resolve .
Parenting involves leadership , innovation, creativity and stamina. It is this moment that makes us realize the deeds of our parents .
I hope that I will have the strength for the journey ahead. Today is only the beginning.